Beautiful Impossible
by TheDarkAngelLilith79915
Summary: After the events of Breaking Dawn, Kate Denali returns to Alaska with Garrett. Their love thrives but so does grief over Irina. soon life as they know it is changing as Kate finds herself impossibly pregnant and has to fight for baby's life as well as her own. Better summery inside, rated high T for slight sexuality and some slight language and very slight violence.
1. Grief

Kate settles in to a new life with Garrett. Love blossoms but so does grief, Irina's death takes a heavy toll. Kate copes threw her new love, but that too comes with an un-excepted price. For when Kate becomes impossibly pregnant she will have to fight for her life as her immortal body tries to change. A stunned Denali coven calls upon Carlisle Cullen to aid Kate. Most of the Denali family hope for some sort of abortion to be performed. Upon hearing this Kate desperately calls the only person she knows who will support her. With Bella's help Kate prepares to fight for her baby's life and her own.

I do not own the Twilight novels or the movies

* * *

**_Chapter one of Beautiful Impossible: Grief._**

Sacrifice details a gory end, worship to the gods.

I aim to please no gods; I aim to please no one.

I aim only to fight for one oh so worthy of my suffering.

It is not suicide but a noble loss for the one I love.

If life should have to end then I decide to end it for a purpose.

For the innocent and the weak, I do not parish as a tragedy but as a protector.

I know well the choice I make, and I am ready to commit to this sacrifice for the better.

For from death, comes life….

(By Alice Lin McLane)

* * *

Eternal life is something I take for granted too much. The gift of never losing yourself or the ones you love. But Immortal means to never die not to live forever, hard to understand I know. But it's a hard lesson I've been forced to learn. Irina did not live forever and she did not die, she was murdered and I refuse to believe it was for a cause. If death is a suitable punishment for a mistake then why are any of us still here?

"_it is a great loss and I am sorry. But it could've been much worse" _Carlisle said to me before we left the Cullen family.

I know that the encounter with the Volturi could have had a much worse outcome. We could all be dead right now, but I almost think death would be better than experiencing the grieving proses for a second time. I've never quite gotten over my mother's death and now Irina… I feel lost, my last words to Irina were words of haste and that is no good bye to your baby sister. I wish I could have just one more minute with her, just to apologia and tell her how much I love her and give a proper good bye.

I just need time to grieve.

"Kate" Garrett calls after me as we walk through the dense snowy forest "Kate stop, wait a minute talk to me"

He keeps following me and it's been almost an hour. If he cares for me this much it'll only hurt him more when he has to leave me. Garrett is strong, stubborn and willing to try anything, he's proven that much. But he'll try the animal diet and he'll ultimately fail. In the end he'll leave me to resume his old life style. I know this yet I let myself get more and more attached… hell I love him. I'm head over heels in something that'll hurt me, classic me.

I keep walking but he catches up to me and grabs hold of my arm stopping me. He's strong, a lot stronger than me but I have an advantage he doesn't. I give him a warning shock but it doesn't faze him.

"When it comes to protecting you that doesn't bother me, you should know that by now" Garrett tells me never loosening his grip.

"Protecting me from what?" I ask, a bit sharper than I meant to.

"Yourself" he states.

"I can handle myself!" I snap.

"Kate tell me if I didn't stop you here, would you have gone to the Volturi?" Garrett replies.

I narrow my eyes at him.

"Don't give me that look; tell me that isn't what you're thinking. To go kill Caius" he says.

He's right, he is completely right. I want to go to Volterra and rip Caius apart, slowly and painfully. I want to savor the moment and make sure he knows he's about to die, just like Irina did, just like my mother did. I want to burn him while he's still aware and watch it all happen. He's taken so much from me and now I want to take it back. But of course I would be the next to die.

I sigh and look off to the side.

"I know Katie; I know what you're going through. But I am not going to let you go on a suicide mission" he says sternly his bright ruby eyes on mine.

"How could you possibly know?" I say shaking my head.

He loosens his grip on my arm and slides his hand down to take hold of mine "do you know why I hate the British so much? Why I joined the war as a choice"

"You're a patriot, it's obvious" I say.

"No, it's deeper than that" he says "Shayla, she was my younger sister. She was only thirteen when they murdered her. I was with her when they attacked, we were only feet apart from each other she died and I lived. So I left my family and joined the army trying to get revenge. Trust me revenge isn't worth it, and it defiantly isn't worth your life"

"But Irina is" I say.

"Kate you can't think like that. Would Irina want you to risk your life? Think about the rest of your family Tanya, Eleazar, Carmen they are already suffering the loss of someone they love, do you really want to double that pain for them" Garrett tells me.

"Why do you care so much?" I ask.

"Because I'm in love with you, I've told you that. That's why I followed you here" He replies.

I sigh "but it'll never last"

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"I know you love me and you think you can live my life style, but it's not as simple as you think it is. When the thirst becomes too much you'll leave to feed on humans again. I can't let you stay and kill the humans here and I won't be enough to convince you to stop" I say.

He caresses my cheek "you shouldn't doubt me so much Katie. I love you and I won't let anything come between us"

"You say that now" I reply.

At that he cups my face in his hands and kisses me full on the lips. I feel an urge to push him away but an overwhelming urge to stay and kiss him back. I get lost in the feel of his lips brushing with mine.

He pulls away slightly his lips skim my forehead "I'll never leave you, I promise"

I can feel something radiating inside me and all over my body, tingling and burning. A feeling stronger than my gift. It pulses with desire, just screaming at me to be near him. This feeling is stronger than the grief; if I can make it continue then I won't have to suffer. I can distract myself…

"Kiss me" I whisper my voice thick. I reach up and bring our lips together again. I press my body against his my back arching to try and even out our height, he's so tall. One of his hands goes waist, the other tangles in my hair. Our kisses become heated and the feeling only becomes greater more demanding. We pull back panting for unneeded breaths. Garrett slides my shirt up and I allow him to pull it over my head. The black fabric is discarded in the snow.

I've never felt passion and desire like this before. I hook my fingers in the belt loops on his jeans and pull him back to me. Our lips collide in uncontrollable passion. I can't get enough of him the burning just keeps growing. I jump up on him wrapping my legs around his waist.

He stops our kisses briefly a crooked smile etched on his lips "easy Katie. There's no rush, we have forever"

"Let's pretend we only have night" I pant as I bring our lips together ounce more.

* * *

"I'm sorry" I sigh as we lie in the snow cold bodies pressed together.

"About what?" Garrett whispers as he places a kiss to the top of my head.

"running away from you, not listening to a word you said, you told me about your sister's death and I immediately changed the subject, and then you know I sort of took advantage of you to distract myself" I say looking away sheepishly.

"Don't be sorry, you're grieving, I'm just making sure your grieving doesn't go to the point of insanity. And you can 'take advantage of me' any time you want" he laughs.

I can't help but laugh too "I swear if you dare leave me now, I promise I'll hunt you down and you won't get far"

"I won't leave you, I'll convince you of that one way or another" he replies.

"Even if you can handle the blood lust, won't you miss traveling around, Nomad?" I ask, teasing him.

"Change is good" Garrett shrugs "but I do want to take you somewhere eventually"

"I've lived for over a thousand years, I've seen the world already" I say.

"And what's so special about here?" he asks.

"It's secluded, not many people live here. It's right on the border of Denali national park witch benefits our life style. And its home to me" I explain "the lights, I like the lights"

"Lights?" he questions.

I sit up then hugging my knees to my chest and stare down at him contently "come on, get dressed. I want to show you something"

* * *

"Oh, those lights" Garrett says as we stand on the mountain peak.

I smile, watching the colors dancing in the sky. I feel his arms slip around me and I lean against him, for some reason I feel safe in his arms. But the feeling can't last.

"I thought I might find you two up here" a soft voice says from behind us.

"Go away Tanya" I sigh.

"I come looking for my little sister out of concern and this is the thanks I get" she says humorously as she walks in to view. She's always been talented at hiding emotion, but I know she's hurting right now. Before Laurent came and took advantage of Irina's easily gained trust Tanya Irina and I were inseparable. Now that separation is permanent. I know Tanya feels the same way I do… broken.

I don't know how some people do this; grieve more than ounce for more than one person. I don't know if I can handle this. Looking at Tanya my ever over protective older sister, and feeling Garrett holding me close, my stubborn caring new lover. I know if I were to die they would have to live this pain that I'm feeling and I don't want that. But sometimes inducing pain on a few for the sake of one just has to happen…

* * *

Hi so i'm Divergent - Underworld 4ever. this is my first official Twilight fanfiction but I've written a lot more that I didn't share. I decided to share this one because I am a huge Kate and Garrett fan and I noticed for one a lack of Kate and Garrett sorties in total and I have found only one Kate and Garrett baby story, only one! can you guys believe that? so here is my story. I will try to update soon and I promise the next chapter things will start to get more interesting.

So please tell me what you think so far and i'll see you in the next chapter

oh and just saying for any Divergent fans I have a Divergent fanfiction called the Serum files


	2. Strange love

Kate settles in to a new life with Garrett. Love blossoms but so does grief, Irina's death takes a heavy toll. Kate copes threw her new love, but that too comes with an un-excepted price. For when Kate becomes impossibly pregnant she will have to fight for her life as her immortal body tries to change. A stunned Denali coven calls upon Carlisle Cullen to aid Kate. Most of the Denali family hope for some sort of abortion to be performed. Upon hearing this Kate desperately calls the only person she knows who will support her. With Bella's help Kate prepares to fight for her baby's life and her own.

I do not own the Twilight novels or the movies

* * *

**_Chapter two of Beautiful Impossible: Strange love._**

Over the next two days my routine repeats itself almost down to the detail. Today is showing no sign of being different.

I'm perched on Garrett's left knee his arms wrapped securely around my waist his chin resting on my shoulder. I love him and as time passes I only fall more in love with him, and I do enjoy his ever constant presence; but he needs a hobby because ever since we returned to Denali he hasn't gone within ten feet of me like the entire world revolves around me in his eyes. I'm not complaining it's just I can't be that fun to be around right now. I'm grieving and most my activities involve staring at the closed door that used to be Irina's room, pretending that I'm not thinking about it and most embarrassing of all sudden sobbing fits. But through all of this Garrett continues to be my shadow every second.

It's been a typical morning; things are starting to return to the usual. But I can't help but notice Irina's absence. Others have noticed as well everyone just seems a little down.

Eleazar is returning to work today I can't help but notice that Irina isn't getting ready to leave with him. Before she ran away Irina was preparing for another year at an arts school near to the university Eleazar teaches in, every day he would drop her off and pick her up. She never did return to that school…

I watch temped to make a remark like 'get a room' as I usually would, when Carmen pulls Eleazar to her for a good bye kiss. But then I realize that I can't say anything, Garrett and I are much worse. Examples A the new bite mark scars on my shoulder I'm trying to hide with my hair… but failing. Yeah he likes to get… playful we'll just say.

Eleazar leaves and Tanya and Carmen sit silently reading. They do this often for hours at a time; they go through two inch thick novels in a week's time. The only difference is their taste in genre, Carmen always enjoys the overly sappy romance stories, whereas Tanya likes the thrill of mystery and horror.

A month ago this is about the time I would attempt to entertain myself by sketching or annoying Tanya, anyone who has a sibling surely understands the joy in that. But now I have a companion and right now spending time with him is the only thing that interests me.

I pull myself from his grasp and stand in front of him staring down into his crimson eyes "come on, follow me"

Garrett stands and I go from looking down at him to having to almost strain my neck to look him in the eye.

"Where are we going?" he asks.

"Follow me" I smile seductively.

He follows me willingly. I lead him out in to the forest. Although it isn't necessary I want to make sure Garrett is feeding every other day. I don't want him to lose control of the blood lust and wind up killing someone, it takes a heavy emotional toll and I don't want to watch him go through that.

He seems to be coping with the animal blood diet better than I thought he would. But he hasn't come in to contact with humans since he stop seeing them as a meal. I fear the day we accidentally come across that human who decides to roam off trails on the reserve, but it's bound to happen.

I sit on a large flat rock and watch him unable to look away. In an odd way that awakes the more animal side of me I find him hunting incredibly sexy.

The way he makes me feel is just amazing, I have never experienced anything quite like this. I feel addicted to this love. Before this I used men like tissues, use them once and throw them away. This is_ different_.

I can feel a twisting feeling in my stomach, a very human like reaction to emotion this great. Vampires are dead in a sense but the brain is still full of life and the brain is capable of very powerful things. Over a thousand years and my brain still hasn't forgotten some of its human reactions.

Suddenly the twisting turns in to a sharp stab in my lower abdomen. It only lasts for two seconds but it feels like being impaled only from the inside out. Pain for no real reason isn't a normal sensation to vampires, if we feel pain there's a blatant reason for it. So what the hell just happened to me?

I feel a hand clamp down on my shoulder and I jump back with a hiss. I see Garrett crouched down in front of me looking at me like I'm a ghost.

"Are you alright? Can you hear me? What happened?" he asks.

"Nothing I'm fine" I say.

"You didn't seem fine a second ago" he states.

"What do you mean?" I ask, pretending to be clueless. I hate it when people fuss over me.

"You gasped then when I came over to make sure you were alright you just stared at the ground like you couldn't hear me" Garrett states.

"I'm fine, I was just… thinking" I say.

"Thinking?"

"Yeah- thinking" I repeat, I don't want him to worry about me. I get up on my knees and kiss him. There's a slight ache in my stomach as I move. There is something odd happening, but I don't know what.

He slowly moves on top of me our lips never part as he lays me back on the rough stone. The air is cold like our skin but the desire and emotion coursing through me creates the illusion of warmth.

We don't return home for many hours…

* * *

"Do you think this will ever end?" I ask as we walk hand in hand through the forest.

"Will what end?" Garrett questions.

"The endless need to rip each other's clothes off" I state.

"Well I don't know, but I'm hoping that it won't end" he replies, giving me a knowing smirk.

We walk in the double doors that lead to the family room in the back of the house. Tanya is sprawled out elegantly on the love seat, a book in hand. We pretend not to notice her.

"you know every time you two sneak in here with shameful smiles and wet clothes, we all know what you've been up to" Tanya comments.

I turn with an evil smile "because it was so different back in dark ages when you would sneak in every night dress disheveled and covered in blood. I believe your worst kinky victim was a prince in a horse drawn carriage"

"Oh and you didn't do the same to his brother?" she asks arching a blond eyebrow at me.

"Started a mystical legend didn't we" I say knowing that my sisters and I had a large influence over the 'Succubus' lore.

"Yes we did, created excuses for cheating husbands for centuries" Tanya smiles humorously.

"If you have a problem with the wet clothes and the smiles then we'll just 'do it' in the bedroom and you'll have to listen to all the moans and-" I start, knowing that hearing this when placed on her little sister- me- will make her uncomfortable.

Tanya raises her hand "okay, alright I have the picture, enjoy disturbing the animals on the reserve"

I smile satisfied with myself for winning this sibling argument. Garrett and I turn to walk out but we're interrupted again.

"Garrett" Tanya calls.

We turn back to her.

"I can tell you're going to be around for a long time, and I think that you're good for Kate. She needs someone to watch over her in a time like this. You're very kind to her and she is quite found of you. For those reasons I'm glad you're joining our family… You'd be wise not to change my opinion" Tanya states, complimenting him and threatening him at the same time.

He smiles slightly "Don't worry, I love Kate and I'll never hurt her. And if I ever do promise me that you will kill me"

Tanya gives a grateful smile "we have a deal. Thank you"

Although it's a grim thought, my sister making a pact to murder my lover if he does me wrong. But the love in this family is strange, but it's stronger than other loves. The love that we have has and can last for many life times. This bond we have can't be disturbed by anything…

* * *

Okay so I'm sorry this took so long, but the reason it takes so long is because I take my time to write the best chapters I possibly can. I hope this was a good one. next chapter I promise gets a lot more action.

So please tell me what you think so far. and tell me how i'm doing on how I portray Kate's character, this is the way I see her, smart, very caring, observant, curious and emotional underneath a tough and sort of laid-back humorous shell. and i'll see you in the next chapter

Please review! :)


	3. Numb

Kate settles in to a new life with Garrett. Love blossoms but so does grief, Irina's death takes a heavy toll. Kate copes threw her new love, but that too comes with an un-excepted price. For when Kate becomes impossibly pregnant she will have to fight for her life as her immortal body tries to change. A stunned Denali coven calls upon Carlisle Cullen to aid Kate. Most of the Denali family hope for some sort of abortion to be performed. Upon hearing this Kate desperately calls the only person she knows who will support her. With Bella's help Kate prepares to fight for her baby's life and her own.

I do not own the Twilight novels or the movies

* * *

**_Chapter three of Beautiful Impossible: Numb._**

"Are you annoyed with me?" Garrett asks.

"No" I reply.

"Are you angry at me" he continues.

"No" I say.

"Then what is it, you aren't sending me away for no reason" he insists.

I come to a sudden stop at the bottom of the stairs and I know if we were human he would've tripped right over me. I take a few steps and turn to find him once again only inches away from me.

"That's the reason" I say putting my hand out to stop him from pulling me closer.

"Are you Closter-phobic?" he asks.

I roll my eyes "you know that's not it. I talked to you about this last night"

"Yes you did" he states.

"And what did you do directly after that?" I question.

"I took your shirt off" Garrett replies.

"And do you think what I said made a difference to this problem?" I say.

"Is it really a problem?" he asks.

"I can't turn around without walking in to you, your entire day revolves around kissing and looking at me, among other things. That's not a good way to spend life and that's not a normal relationship" I state.

"You expect us to have a normal relationship. I'm five years older yet centuries younger than you, is that normal?" he retorts.

"You know what I mean. I don't want me to be the only thing in your life I want you to still be your own person, and right now you aren't" I tell him "now please get your space just for a few hours then we can return to this, and trust me I'd be lying if I said I don't enjoy this" I reach up to meet our lips together.

His arms snake around me and I lean in to him. I pull away as I feel the hem of my t-shirt move.

"Nice try" I say, fighting the desire to pull him back.

"Alright fine" he sighs.

I follow him to the door and watch him leave.

"I love you" I tell him.

Garrett turns "what?"

"I said I love you" I say clearly.

"This is the time you've said that out loud" he says with a slight smile.

I feel my still heart flutter and I can't help but smile "It's long overdue"

"Still want me to leave?" he questions.

"Only for a while, I'll have to restrain myself" I smile.

"So will I" he replies.

I watch him walk off savoring the fleeting image as I slide the door shut. I walk in to the family room where Tanya sits todays newspaper in her hands, the front page reads "Local boy falls through ice and drowns, body found three days later" it's tragic that things like this happen but I'm glad to say that ice claims more lives in Alaska than we do.

"So you kicked him out for the day huh?" Tanya comments.

"Yeah" I sigh "I love him but he must think that he's glued to me because for the last three days he literally hasn't left my side. It's not healthy, we need to be together but we can't be…" I start trying to think of a proper explanation.

"Carmen and Eleazar?" Tanya states.

"Exactly" I reply. Its true Carmen and Eleazar are inseparable and have been since before they joined us in the 1920's.

"We aren't that bad" Carmen frowns as she pokes her head in to the room from the adjoined library.

Tanya and I share a look.

"Every time he leaves for work you sit around all day waiting for him" Tanya says.

"He calls you every chance he gets" I state.

"You say goodbye like he's leaving for the war" Tanya remarks.

"You say hello like he has just returned from overseas" I add.

"You-" Tanya starts.

"Alright I get it!" Carmen exclaims "but admit it, Tanya you are lonely and Kate you miss Garrett"

Tanya and I share another look then glare at Carmen. She's right I do miss him, a little separation is good but I miss the feel of his presence and the sweet feeling of his soft touch.

"You do realize he never left, he's on the roof waiting for you to come looking for him. I saw him jump up there" Carmen states her soft accent tangling around her words.

"Yeah, yeah I know where my man is. Tanya where's yours?... oh wait" I tease.

"Katrina don't make me strangle you" Tanya replies displaying her well known glare.

"Okay the last time we were still calling me 'Katrina' we still spoke fluent Slovak" I say.

"Aj tak môžeme hovoriť plynule slovenský, a zavolal som ťa Katrina, lebo viem, že to sere ťa" (we can still speak fluent Slovak and I called you Katrina because I know it pisses you off) Tanya replies smugly in our old tongue.

"Uhryznite mi!" (Bite me!) I spit.

"Nepokúšajte mi" (don't tempt me) Tanya retorts.

"Now I know how Kate feels" Carmen states. She and Eleazar have a terrible habit for having entire conversations in Spanish while I sit there clueless.

"La conozco expresión confusa hilarante?" (I know isn't her confused expression hilarious?) Tanya says to Carmen, I hate the fact that my sister is very bilingual.

"Bastante"(quite) Carmen nods.

I don't know many words in Spanish but I don't need to, to tell that they aren't sharing pleasantries about me.

"I think I'll go find someone who I can understand when they talk" I say.

"You know Garrett speaks French right?" Tanya says with a smirk.

"I know" I sneer flashing my favorite finger at her.

"I thought you kicked him out for the afternoon" Carmen states.

"I changed my mind. I'm technically dead not brain dead I can make decisions like that" I say.

I stand up from my place perched on the couch arm and walk out of the living room in to the front foyer and start up the stairs. As I reach the top of the steps I can tell that Carmen was right, Garrett is on the roof. Every vampire has a unique sent and I'm drawn to his.

As I step up on to the last stair I suddenly feel very light headed and a stabbing pain shoots through my stomach. I double over and bite my lip so hard that the skin splits. My vision blurs and I feel a falling sensation. It's not until I land hard on the granite floor that I realize I've fallen down the stairs.

"Kate!" I hear Tanya gasp but her voice sounds muffled, as if a glass wall were separating us.

I try to look for her but it's like a thick film is over my eyes, everything is too blurred to make anything out.

I feel two sets of hands grab on to me and a set of footsteps flying down the stairs.

"What the hell happened?" Garrett is here somewhere.

I want to reach out to him but every process that runs through my mind can't be performed physically. All my senses are numb witch as a vampire is unbearable, centuries of nothing but perfect clarity and now _this_. But the ability to sense pain still lingers.

Before Sasha bit me I had been impaled straight through the chest, my left lung was punctured and I was choking on blood. Even that pain, even the endless flame of the transformation can't compare to the stabbing blade in my stomach now.

"Kate what is it?! Kate can hear me?!" Tanya asks clearly panicked.

"Her eyes are rolling back" Carmen says.

"Kate, Kate look at me. Come on Baby snap out of it" Garrett whispers, I can feel him near me and I can hear him but even that is fading away.

The last thing that I witness is a cold fluid running down my legs and Tanya's voice just a whisper now.

"What do we do?"…..

Then black and silence closes in, maybe this is death, maybe there is a limit to life…

* * *

hey so here's the third chapter. I've seen the whole twilight vampire impossibly pregnant thing done a lot of different ways, usually resulting in them somehow magically turning human. I am not going to do that. there will be many complications and it will in no way be a happy normal 'oh my god we're having a baby' story. I will explain how she got pregnant but that may be in a sequel.

so if you're a big Denali sisters fan like me you know that Tanya and Kate were born and turned in Slovakia therefore they must have spoke Slovak at one point. and Carmen speaks Spanish in the book. so I don't know if you guys think it's lame or not but I for one love different languages, and I thought it would be cool. and if you happen to know Slovak or Spanish I know the translation isn't perfect but blame google translate not me.

I would like to thank 'That child' for the first review I've gotten on this, and thanks to anyone who is following or has made this story a favorite. Thank you!

so please let me know what you think and I'll see you next time.

Please review! :)


	4. Ignore it

Kate settles in to a new life with Garrett. Love blossoms but so does grief, Irina's death takes a heavy toll. Kate copes threw her new love, but that too comes with an un-excepted price. For when Kate becomes impossibly pregnant she will have to fight for her life as her immortal body tries to change. A stunned Denali coven calls upon Carlisle Cullen to aid Kate. Most of the Denali family hope for some sort of abortion to be performed. Upon hearing this Kate desperately calls the only person she knows who will support her. With Bella's help Kate prepares to fight for her baby's life and her own.

I do not own the Twilight novels or the movies

* * *

**_Chapter four of Beautiful Impossible: Ignore it._**

"She isn't breathing" a voice soft and angelic breaks through the black.

"She doesn't need to" a stronger male voice replies.

I'm alive, well as alive as I was before. The sense of hearing is coming back to me but all others are still paralyzed.

"Yes and that's exactly my point. We have no way to check for life, she doesn't have to breathe, her heart doesn't beat and her body temperature naturally lies at the freezing point. How do we know she isn't gone?" the female voice says, breaking on the last words.

"Hope, if you don't have hope you have nothing left to hold on to" another male voice only much closer this time "Come back to me" Garrett… I have to pull through this.

I try to move or breath, anything more than just lying in blackness.

"I've never seen anything like this. You said nothing unusual happened to her before this?" the other male voice, Eleazar, questions.

"No, she was fine then she left the room and fell down the stairs. We found her on the floor convulsing and her eyes were rolling back" Tanya, the female voice, replies.

Suddenly the sensation of touch and smell come back to me. I can feel a strong embrace holding me from the side and something soft beneath me. I smell the scents of my family members and the sharp bitter odder of venom.

Now all I need is sight and to get out of this paralytic state. I need to know what's happening, even if it can't be explained I at least have to examine the situation for myself with a clear head.

I notice a light but continuous taping sound, footsteps. They seem to trail from left to right then right to left over and over again.

"Tanya I wish I could tell you something to reassure you. But I truly have no idea what this is, or how it'll end" Eleazar says.

The pacing stops "I know. And I don't know any more than you do but she's my sister, I can't help but be worry about this"

I will myself to move just enough to let them know that I'm alright. I concentrate on moving my fingers, but even something so small and simple is taking every ounce of strength I have.

I feel my eyelids twitch and in a split second life floods back in to me. I sit up with a gasp and look around the room. I'm in the family room lying on the couch. Strong arms tighten around me and a soft kiss and presses against my cheek.

"You scared us" Garrett whispers.

I lean over to the side and let him hold me.

Eleazar, Carmen and Tanya stand around the room staring down at me.

"What the hell is going on?" I ask, my voice sounds weak and my throat stings when I speak.

"I wish we could tell you" Tanya replies.

I look around a little more and notice that the sun is rising, and my pants are laced with venom. When this stops getting stranger by the second I'll be very happy.

"How do you feel Kate?" Tanya asks.

"Confused" I say.

"One more thing we have in common" she sighs "I'm just glad you're alive, more or less"

"Yeah, we'll see how long that lasts" I mutter.

"Don't say that" Tanya replies.

"I'm just saying we have no idea what the hell just happened to me. All of these things that have happened to me are not typical vampire traits. It isn't certain what is going to happen next " I state. Just because I woke up from whatever that was doesn't mean I'm not in danger, the fact that I had to _wake up _in the first place proves that.

"Let's not assume the worst yet, I've learned to except that not everything in this world follows the guidelines we are told some inevitably stray. I think our cousins have proved that enough" Eleazar says.

"Sure, but if I get anything out of this it'll be a tomb stone, not an irresistibly cute child" I say.

"I love the positivity, Katie" Garrett comments.

"Tell me I'm wrong" I say.

"You're wrong" he replies.

"And you're in denial" I state. No one wants to believe that someone they love is going to die denial is an overused coping mechanism.

"You know for someone who is convinced she's going to die you're awfully nonchalant about this" he retorts.

And there is my overused coping mechanism. I try not to think about the hardships in my life and play it off with a joking nonchalant attitude, because I do hate how fragile I can be. I prepare myself for the worst out come so if it happens the weak side of doesn't break free

"Wouldn't you be even more concerned if I wasn't?" I question.

"Fair enough" he nods.

"Eleazar that's great idea" Tanya says suddenly.

Eleazar gives her a puzzled look "what idea?"

"The Cullen's, I'm going to go call Alice" she replies before leavening the room at a brisk pace.

"You know how you told me you'd follow me anywhere" I whisper to my love as I rest my head in the crook of his neck "if the worst does happen, promise me you won't follow me there"

"I don't make promises I can't keep" he whispers "I don't know where we go if our eternal life ends but I know that this world might as well be the flames of hell if I lost you, I'd take an uncertain after life over an eternity of misery wondering what happened to you any day"

I feel my eyes sting at his words, I'm glad I can't actually cry or else I'd be showing a lot of emotion right now. It's unbelievable how much he really does love me. It's crazy what love would make you do, if this were the other way around I would feel the same way. But he must understand that it's because I love him that I wouldn't want him to take his own life just because mine ended. This isn't Romeo and Juliet and I don't want it to end that way.

Garrett pulls back and looks in to my eyes I smile at him until his face contorts in to a frown.

"What?" I question.

"Your eyes are so black I can't see your pupils. You fed the day before yesterday" he replies with a concerned look.

I've been trying to ignore the burning sensation in my throat, he's right I shouldn't be this thirsty. But out of everything that has happened to me this isn't what concerns me most.

I hear Tanya's voice from the next room as she speaks on the phone and a muffled voice from the other end.

_"Hello?"_ a high pitch voice asks.

"Alice, it's Tanya. Listen I can't explain exactly but something happened to Kate and even Eleazar is at a loss to what's going on. I'm just worried about her, we all are. I was wondering if you could-"

_"Say no more. Is she alright? Maybe we should come visit"_ Alice suggests.

Alright, it's bad enough that my family is seeing me like this, but the entire Cullen family too.

"I don't think that's necessary. She has it in her head that she's going to die, but she does tend to jump to the worst case scenario. I think she may want space right now" Tanya replies.

_"Alright, I have to concentrate give me a minuet"_ Alice says.

We all wait as silence fills the house for a few minutes. Then there's a sharp breath from the other end of the phone.

"What is it?" Tanya asks.

_"I don't know, it's strange. Just flashing pictures I can't make sense of it. Just Blood, Screaming, swirling lights and then black"_ Alice replies, she sounds very confused.

Well now that sounds lovely. I think my fate was just confirmed, I try not to think about that too much. I can't let it get to me.

"Do you have any idea what that could mean?" Tanya questions.

_"No, I'm sorry"_ she replies "_if you need anything else Tanya you know we're here" _

"I know, thank you" Tanya says, her voice sounds flat.

_"Alright, let us know if anything happens"_ Alice says.

"I will, thank you" Tanya replies.

They exchange goodbyes and hang up the phone.

Tanya returns to the family room with a sad expression "I take it you all heard that"

We nod.

"Now what?" Carmen asks.

"We ignore it; I'm fine now if it happens again then we'll get serious about it. Until then it never happened" I say.

"This isn't the type of problem we can just ignore Kate" Tanya replies.

"Tanya, I. Am. Fine. Okay, just stop worrying" I tell her.

It seems like the best option at the moment. What lies ahead for me is unclear right now but because it's unclear I don't want them to worry about something that may not happen, I don't want them to worry about me.

"No protests alright, I'm going to go get changed and then we're going to pretend it didn't happen until something proves otherwise" I say.

The looks I get from around the room are unsure but no one objects.

I don't tell anyone that the moment I stand I feel lightheaded and that my stomach aches when I move. It'll have to stay like this for a while; I'll have to hide my pain to save them from pain. Garrett was right; they already lost Irina they can't go on thinking that they'll lose me as well…

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so please let me know what you think and I'll see you next time.

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	5. Hiatous- back from hospital

Hello readers, so I now it's been a long time since I've updated but I am struggling with my mental health and have been hospitalized for such reasons. I'm out for now and trying to get better. As treatment I have to change a lot of things in my life and it seems to be helping. I've adopted some new hobbies a new first name a new school program just got my hair cut today. They made me stop doing my old hobbies for a while and I was very upset about that they took Twilight and my other fangirl loves. But they did let me fangirl a little allowing me to find a new fandom Vampire academy is what kept me sane in those two weeks. But now they are allowing me to come back to things that made me happy, but not quite in the way it used to be. I told them ("them " being everyone who is helping me through this) about my fanfictions and they told me to go back to writing but not the same stories. "Change, change is good" is what I'm told. So this story is on hiatus right now and I don't know when I'll get Back to it, sorry but I have to do this. Thank you for all the support up till now.


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